Some important lessons I learned to be a successful spectator include:
1. Be prepared at least 24 hours in advance: The night before, I was feeling pretty yucky. Before I was able to get anything together for this race, I took Benadryl. Huge Mistake- I fell asleep at 7:30 pm so nothing was ready to go the next day.
2. Always carry extra clothes with you for the children: I woke, packed up the car, got the kids up, dressed them, and seat belted them in. I was so proud of myself that we were out the door at a reasonable time. (Now, keep in mind, I never planned on getting there to watch the start- it just wasn't going to happen. The race started at 7 am and was about and hour away. Justin was well aware of this and I think OK with it.) About 25 minutes into the hour drive, I hear Joey say "Uh, Mom, somethings wrong with Jake." About that time, I look in my rear view mirror and see Jake start to throw up all over himself and the seat. I did NOT plan for this, therefore, I did not pack any extra clothes. So I had to turn the car around and head 25 minutes back home to clean up the car and Jake. We did it, no problem, and on our way we were again.
3. Bring extra snacks and drinks, especially if you have growing boys: In the 3.5 hours that I was there, my kids managed to eat a whole can of pringles, a whole bag of goldfish, drink 4 sprites, and 4 packages of cheese sandwiches. And, I was left starving and thirsty. Thank goodness for the Powerade booth.
4. Always bring a swimsuit (for the kids): You know there is going to be a body of water around, so you know kids are going to want to swim. My kids made due with their shorts, but apparently the sand was lodged into places that was not comfortable.
5. Bug spray: Texas humidity and a body of water nearby, need I say more?
6. Remember what clothing your triathlete is wearing: Everyone looks the same out there. I have tons of pictures of random triathletes. Next time I'm going to put a bright orange piece of duck tape on Justin so he stands out a little more.
7. Attend these events with friends: I am lucky to be able to share most of these experiences with a friend and neighbor, Leslie Ball. Her husband will also be participating in IM Louisville in August and I am excited because we always have a good time together. A lot of the time can be spent standing around waiting for your triathlete to pass by, and having someone to pass the time with really makes it more enjoyable. I also made some new friends this time around as well. Yay me!
8. Know your triathlete's estimated finish times for each event: This made it much easier to guesstimate when Justin was going to pass by. So, I planned bathroom breaks etc.... around this.
I know I probably learned a lot more lessons, and with each event will continue to learn more. But, watching Justin this past weekend really got me excited about what's in store in August for us.
I was able to take a picture of Justin while he was at Mile 21. yes, I was driving and taking a pic, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity!
Jake still not feeling 100% when we first got there
Justin coming in at the finish
My husband has finished 7 ironman races. We had set the rules he could only compete every other year so the children would know who their father was. I am proud of my husband but a bit resentful, that he invests more of himself into these races, the training, logging in the training and going on ironman chat pages than he invests in his own family. I feel like a single mom alot. And although i thought as the kids got older it would get easier, and yes race day has gotten easier but accepting his separation from his family and obligations at home have gotten more challenging. If he invested one tenth of the time he spends on ironman stuff insted on our kids education, it would make a huge difference. It is a crazy obsession and I really hope your husband does well but doesnt get to the point like my husband is at. Also be prepared that the days leading up to the race are very stressful, at least for my husband it has been . Feel free to ask me any questions as i have been living this for some time.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to chime in on this and also to Karen's comment as well. My husband and I were married in May 2010. When we met in June 2008 we both fell in love very quickly. He did not do triathlon at this time. He completed his first IM in August 2010. IM hadn't been TOO much of an issue at that point, except for one weekend over the summer of 2010 went he went to the IM course with a girl he was training with and didn't understand why it bothered me that they stayed in the city overnight (but in separate hotel rooms!). ;) Three days before his first IM my grandfather passed away. My grandmother decided not to have the memorial that weekend, but if she had I was told by my husband that he wasn't sure if he would go with me to the memorial or go to do the IM. Granted, had he told me he would go to the memorial if it had occurred that weekend, I likely would have told him that it would be okay and that he should go do the IM. The issue for me was, as you can imagine, that in his mind, there was a choice between being there with me and my family versus going to do the IM. Although he had put in months of training, multiple IMs happen every year. My grandfather's death happens once.
ReplyDeleteTo my point, he went on to complete three more IMs in 2011. He hid one of the registrations from me because he knew I would be upset. I'm not sure he completely understood that part of being married is being accountable to your partner for your actions and that yes, going by your own agenda without regard for what the other person wants is going to cause some issues. Despite this, I supported him and was at his races. I even volunteered to be a finish line catcher at one of them and stood at the finish line putting medals on finishers for 8 hours until he came in.
I wanted a commitment from him that he wouldn't do any races in 2012. He decided to fly out to Arizona for a 2011 IM race so that he could volunteer and sign up the day after the race for the 2012 entry because volunteers get the first chance to register before it sells out. Before he left, I begged him to stay, told him that I knew that our main focus needed to be our marriage and I needed to see a commitment from him that he felt the same way. I wanted to take the focus off of him, off of myself, and put it on us - being a family and starting our family together. He left and signed up.
I agree 100% with how Karen feels. I heard the words "I just want to do one" right before he completed IM Louisville in August 2010. I have a picture of us hugging at the finish line and both of us are crying. I was crying because I was so happy for him and so happy for us because he had accomplished his goal and now all of the time spent training could be spent instead as newlyweds. I thought he was crying for the same reason. But he later told me that he was crying over the amazing feeling he had and that he knew he wanted to feel it again.
We don't have kids. At our wedding our best man said that my husband "does everything to the extreme and now he could do marriage to the extreme." That hasn't happened. I can deal with hobbies and my husband having a life outside of me. But this obsession allows for no balance. Just like Karen, I always thought that if he spent one tenth of the time he spends tinkering with his bike on our marriage instead, I'd be overwhelmed with happiness. I have filed for divorce. I don't want to, I am heartbroken, and he feels like I made the choice. But I feel like the choice was made for me when he chose himself over us.
He says that doing IM keeps him from drinking. In my opinion he's trading an addiction for an addiction and he needs to find out what drives the addiction, what feelings he hasn't resolved that fuel his need to be so extreme. Because if he doesn't address that then there is always going to be an addiction, IM or otherwise. I just don't want to let go and admit to myself that I should walk away.