I want a prize

I am trying really hard to be supportive.  I am trying really hard to be understanding.  I am trying really hard to keep my eye on the prize- but wait, what is my prize?  After all his training and discipline, Justin's prize will come in the form of the sense of achievement once he finishes this race.  What do I get?  Is there something for me to look forward too?
I am also in this.  I am also having to sacrifice.  I am also having to change my lifestyle to help my husband get where he wants to be.  I'm starting to fall into what I have read other IM wives call "Single mom syndrome" By no way am saying that a single mom and I even have the comparable amount of duties and responsibilities.  Single moms amaze me because they do the work of 2 parents.  By saying that I have "Single mom syndrome" I am simply stating that I have been thrown into a world that I never expected to be.  I am finding myself doing more parenting and household work  than I normally would have to do as a co-parent.   Therefore, I think I deserve a prize.  Admit it, who doesn't like being rewarded for going outside of their expected responsibilities?  Its done at work all the time: you turn in a report in advance, you expect a little praise.  You hit 100% of your sales goal- you expect a raise.  So what I am asking for is nothing extraordinary.  So, that got me thinking,  pregnant women get push presents, I  think IronMan Widows should get a gift too.  And I am going to call that gift the "Survivor's Souvenir" Because after all that is said and done, in the end, I am going to survive this, I will help my children survive this, and most importantly, I am going to help my marriage survive this (well, me and my ever faithful bottle of wine)
 So Justin, start thinking, you've got a gift to get me!  And it better be good!
And now, I've got Survivor by Destiny's Child stuck in my head.

 

IM widow's type of math

Here's the deal.  Justin is in charge of taking our youngest to his nanny in the morning.  He has done this for as long as I can remember because he works in Plano, where the nanny is located.  I work from home, meaning I don't have an office to go to or a commute to suffer through in the mornings.  It is, take that back, WAS awesome-  Until IM training began.

Now, 3 days a week I have to get up in the morning and drive my youngest to the nanny's house, in Plano. I do this because Justin gets up and goes to his Master Swim class 3 days a week.  You are probably thinking that's not too bad, and I should just get my lazy butt out of bed and drive him there and stop complaining (because I am a supportive IM widow).  But, let me throw these numbers out to you and see what you think:

22- the distance in miles from our house to the Nanny's house in Plano
44- the round trip distance in miles I drive when I have to drop Jake off in the morning
132- the number of miles EXTRA I am driving a week when I have to drop Jake off in the morning
23.10- the price it costs me in gas to drive Jake to the nanny's 3 days a week
4.5 - the number of extra hours I am spending in a car  weekly getting my son to his caretaker's

So all this doesn't sound so bad, does it.  Oh, but wait and take a look at these numbers:

528- the number of extra miles I am driving a month
92.40- the price it costs me in gas to drive my son to Plano
18 - the number of extra hours I am spending in a car a month because of training

I could even shock you more by adding in toll expenses, but I won't do that- probably because I am afraid if I figure that out I will not be a happy camper this evening, or the next, or the next, or the next.....


So that Justin can go to his Master swim class to help with his swim portion of his training, I am sacrificing about 144 hours of my life this year to being spent in a car and almost $740 in gas for the next 8 months of training.  By the way- $740 can go a long way towards a cute summer wardrobe at Nordstroms!


But, until training is over, this is something I am just going to have to learn to live with.  Thank you for allowing me to vent!

Meet Justin, Paul, and Josh

                                                             Josh, Paul, and Justin

As I mentioned previously, my husband will be competing in his first IM with his two younger brothers, Paul and Josh.  Since they are the reason I am writing this blog, I figured you might want to meet the boys.
Justin is a 35 year old Special Education teacher for Plano ISD.  He has been teaching for almost 10 years. When we met 12 years ago, Justin was always going to the gym.  Between 2 part time jobs and full time school schedule he'd still manage to fit in his daily workout.  My sister, Sandra, and I would tease him a lot about what we called his obsession.  We would invite him to come out with us to the bars, and he would normally meet us after 11 pm when his kick boxing class was over.    Once we got married and moved to Dallas, Justin started working as a waiter at a local restaurant.   I also got pregnant with our first child, and although I managed to keep my weight gain to a minimum, Justin seemed to pack on the pounds for me.   I look back at pictures and am amazed that I never saw Justin as an over weight man.  But, I guess love will do that to you.  Once Joey was born, we bought a treadmill and Justin started walking and eventually running.  Since I worked full time, Justin had to fit in his workout while taking care of a newborn.  And, this is how he started:

That baby peeking his head out at the bottom of the picture is Joey.  Joey is attached to Justin via a baby back pack thing, and Justin is on the treadmill walking/ running.  Eventually, Justin started running outdoors and started running races.  And the weight started disappearing.  Again, I didn't even notice his weight loss because to me he was never anything but the handsome loving man I married (I promise this will be the last time you hear anything mushy from me!)

Paul is 32 years old and a Lieutenant in the Navy.  We are so proud of Paul and the sacrifices he makes for our country!  Thank you Paul!  He has been in the Navy for 10 years, travelling all over the world, and is married to a wonderful woman, Patricia.  I am so happy to have Tricia to share this IronMan Widow experience with.  She understands when I call frustrated because the bike has been in my living room for 8 days now, or because I need to talk to someone about something other than training schedules or derailers (I don't even know what that is, but I have heard Justin complain about his recently)

                      Paul and Tricia (sorry Trish, its an old picture but its the only one I have of you two!)

Josh will be 29 years old.  He works for Arizona Outback Adventures (AOA) as a guide/ jack of all trades.  Of the three boys, I think he has the coolest job because he gets to do what he loves and gets paid for it!  He takes groups on extreme camping trips (think hiking down the Grand Canyon) and will be gone for weeks at a time.  Two summers ago, the boys took a trip to AZ to visit Josh and had an excellent time hiking, biking, camping, rock climbing with Josh as their guide.  They did some amazing things and created some awesome memories.

                            Josh, Justin, and Paul on top of some big rock AZ Brothers trip 2010

Even thought the boys only see each other only once or twice a year and lead totally different lives, the bond they share is amazing.  I love how close they are and how often they keep in touch.   They are not only brothers but best of friends!  They keep in touch as much as they can, often through text.  They encourage each other and support each other, no matter what.

Below is a text between the brothers (Paul is the one who initiated the texts, Justin's responses are in blue) that went out last week, I found it funny, and hopefully you can see the humor in it too as well as their personalities.

Thank you again for taking the time to read this and meet the boys.  I am already so proud of them and what they have committed to do.

My rules for Justin

I posted this a while back on Justin's FB wall when he first registered for the IM.  I thought I'd share them again, mostly for Justin's benefit so that he doesn't forget.

Here are your rules. Stick to them and we may both make it out alive at the end of August 2012
1. You may only bring up the word IronMan 3 times a day
2. While you speak to me about the IronMan, I am at liberty to read a book, watch TV, or occupy myself with something else. Don't worry, even though it may not look like it, I'm still listening.
3. For every hour of training you do, I will also request an hour of time for me to train. That training may come in the shape of going to the gym (yeah, right) shopping, or out with my friends- my choice.
4. Don't expect or ask me to train with you- that will never, ever happen.
5. Do not ask me if you look fat in your wet suit.
6. I am not going to be responsible for meals that are part of your training plan. If chicken nuggets aren't on your plan then your are SOL.
7. I choose where I will put the or rub Ben-Gay on your body
8. Your training will not, must not, take away from my beach vacation. Sorry that the all inclusive does not fit into your training plan
9. I will not wear a t shirt with your picture on it - unless Banana Republic now makes a Justin Bilgri shirt.
10. Always remember that even though I may get annoyed and frustrated at times- I am always proud of you! Congrats Babe! I know you can do it!!

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The rules of training for an IronMan

My husband Justin will be competing in his first IronMan this year in Louisville.  He will be competing with his two younger brothers, Paul and Josh.  I am beyond proud of this journey he will be taking.  However, I am also a little worried about what this means for me.  Some of you may say I am being selfish, and that's ok.  In fact, I can guarantee that in the process of writing this blog and doucumenting my experience as an IronMan widow that I will come across selfish several times in the next 9 months.
In order to prepare for the IronMan in August, my husband had started taking a Masters Swim Class.  This class starts at 5 am- which means the alarm clock goes off at 4 am 3 days a week.  Keep in mind, that we sleep in the same bed, so when the alarm goes off, I hear it too.  He has also purchased a beautiful Tri Bike which is now in my living room (hopefully not a permanent fixture), and spends his evenings at the gym.  They say that training for an IM is like a part time job- so I am looking at 15-20 hours a week of not having my husband around.
Today Justin discovered a new Tri store in Plano, and of course he was there.  I don't blame him, if there was an opening for a new Nordstroms, I'd be there the first day too.  At the store, one of the sales associates told him that there are 4 things to keep in mind while training for an IronMan.
1) Family
2) Work
3) Sleep
4) Training
And, he could only pick 3.

I have a feeling that sometimes one of the three items isn't going to be family, and I am going to have to learn to be ok with that.